Please help me I'm having relationship problems I don't know what to do?

I'm 15 years old I don't know what to do we knew each other since 6th grade and that's when we first met in math cl.When I was talking too much and my teacher moved me next to her and we started to have alot in common and she liked me but I didn't because I thought people in my cl would make fun of us like the k-i-s-s-i-n-g song or whatever and I liked her alot and didn't thought I would see her again until next year I did but we were in different cles and we chat online and then I fell inlove with her the more I got to talk to her more and more.Everyday I went home fast as I could after school on my computer to see her then later I said I like you too and we started to like each other more and our relationship grew.Then when 8th grade came we were in the same cl again but back in 7th grade I was tardy alot because I had so many problems I was sick alot so I stayed home and I got into so many fights and I got scared because the kids in my cl told me they would like pick a fight with me.So I came tardy but then later I thought they wont stop unless I teach them a lesson so then I kind of came early sometimes then I just acted my normal self being nice talking to my clmates doing all my work then they were talking about my mom with mom jokes which made me mad and pushed my books on the floor.So I punched him in the face and I had like six fights in one school year but then this lady came to my class when we were in 8th grade together but then she told me I have to back to 7th grade because I had so many tardys.I was so sad I was crying and I wanted to be with her because this would be our last school year then we might go to different high schools but then when we chated online she told me she luved me.I was so stocked I didn't think she would say it first I was going to but I thought she might not love me and then I said I didn't think I would ever say this but I Love You will you be my girlfriend and she said yes and then I got her phone number and we talked on the phone like everyday for hours and hours.Everyday after school I always walked her home and holding hands and later when days and days pass I thought and that I really want to kiss her because im so inlove with her but I don't know if she wants to kiss me so I took everything really slow but then I really messed up one day I walked her to her house and I said ummm do you want to kiss me? and I was nervous and shy I never kissed a girl before and she was my first girlfriend and and got nervous then like 30 secs later her dad came outside and I was like awww man then she just said a quick bye and went with her dad.We talked about kissing each other before and she said she would but if I didn't do this, this wouldn't happen later she felt like she doesn't love me anymore and I didn't get to see her that much only after school and in the morning.I always walk with her and I cant like remember the rest, this happen like in apirl 2009 and later she broke up with me and we were so inlove with each other. On valentine's day we talked on the phone for 3 hours and 1 or more hour a day and I promised her after high school and college I will marry you and I promised ill have kids with you and she ment everything to me she is like my true love and everyday in school I didn't do my work or anything all I did was sat at my desk with my head down thinking about her and how much I miss her and days and days and months passed.I still talk to her but I think she hates me now and like ignores me I just don't know what to do I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life im scared too. I love her with all my heart and I promised I love you forever and ever no matter what and she promised as well.We never argue or anything and she is my future my life my everything she is special to me and is different from any other girl she is the nicest most beautiful girl I ever met and is the perfect girl I been looking for and I know that we were always ment to be together.I really need her I'm so lonely and depressed without her.I feel like doing suicide and I might later in life and this is NOT a joke and I won't get over her or find anyone else shes the only person that ever made me happy I been depressed like almost all my life and she just makes me so happy I don't want to lose her I am sorry for typing so much but this is really like about my whole life and how I'm so depressed and I just want to get her back please someone help me =(