Do you want to congratulate me?

just now, a few minutes ago, i wanted to commit suicide. i've been toying with the idea since who knows when but lately, bad things are happening to me in all aspects of life. it would probably take a whole essay to say all my issues and problems. but in short, i've been in a really bad mood since a few months ago. today was the day that just triggered all my feelings. at about 8 tonight, i decided that i wanted to kill myself through carbon monoxide poisoining in the garage. my plan was to wait until everyone in my family was asleep and sneak into the garage to do the deed at around 12. while waiting till everyone went to bed, i thought about a suicide note and what pictures to delete on my computer. as i looked through old pictures and a few videos of me, i thought it would be a complete waste to waste my life. i don't know what happened but i don't want to die anymore. i realized that i was taking life too seriously. it's impossible to lead a perfect life and to make everyone happy. the only person i can make happy is myself and to do that i must do what i like and not what others want from me. as for taking life too seriously, i have to leave it to whatever happens, happens. it was really scary though, i was this ll close to commiting suicide. i had a plan and was sure going to do it. but didn't.